When I in Awesome Wonder Consider All Thy Hands Have Made

Since Elizabeth decided 2:30 am was a good time to make a "diaper" and is having a good time playing in the crib I figured I could blog about what she was doing one year ago today.

Elizabeth had started to slowly show signs of getting sick. First it was requiring some blood. 

Shortly her blood gases started to worsen. She was taken out of her crib and put back on a warmer for easier access. 

We thought that it was an easy fix. Her bicarb levels were slowly dropping as her ammonia levels were steady on the rise. 

In the above picture is within 24 hours of being life lited. Her nurse Amy, as seen in the background, had reassured us it was okay to get some snuggles, that after the day she had she deserved it. So we did snuggle. And I said countless times again I was so glad we did because it was weeks abd many days that I wasn't sure if I'd ever hold her again alive. 

The next morning (11/30/12) Elizabeth was having Respitory problems. She had to be placed on the vent from Respitory distressed. The neonatologist informed us her numbers were steady rising and that Birmingham was her only hope (if they could even do anything for her.) 

Elizabeth was life lited at 11:45 11/30/12 as a potential hemodialysis patient. 

We left our pink and semi alert child to arrive in Birmibgham to a child I did not know. A child that was very much lifeless. She was pale white. Every vein in my sweet girls body was easily counted due to her pale chalky color. At this point we were awake for more than 24 hours. We were met with 3 doctors and 5 crazed nurses. We were asked every question in the book. 

That night was a tough one. She couldn't maintain her blood pressure. I would sit in the chair next to her bed quietly begging her to bring the numbers back up. Her heart kept beating off rhythm. It would take a while to get in sync causing the monitor to alarm in a loud shrill panic. Her Respitory was easily controlled due to her comatose state. 

Within 24 hours all numbers seem to be headed in the right direction( thanks to everyone flooding heavens doors with prayers.) By 24 hours of her arrival they were all within approximate normal levels but then we were left to deal with the aftermath. 

In a weeks time our 3.15lbs little preemie shot up to almost 9lbs due to swelling. We thought she'd burst. Finally her kidneys were functioning again and we could start lasicks. Instead of doing a rock(spot doses) she was put on a drip. I have photos from this time but they are not for the tender hearted and I keep them close and private. I do not post on social media because they are very disturbing. Just know she did not look like Elizabeth.

Tonight before bed all I could do was drop to my knees by my bedside and cry out and say "thank you Lord." I still feel those words aren't enough but I can never seem to muster more than that. Our daughter is our miracle. She's our saving grace. She has taught me nothing good and rewarding comes without hard work. She has taught me being silly in public is perfectly normal. She has taught me that anythings okay when daddy says "Elizabeth ,baby it's okay." She has taught me beauty and normal are in the eye of the beholder. She had taught me what Gods love really means. She's taught me mercy,grace,strength, determination, and love. I could list things a mile long but God has shown me his plans and will is always perfectly designed for my families life. I thank God from whom all blessing flow! 

"When I in awesome wonder, consider all thy hands have made....."