When did I get here?

I'm staring out the fourth floor window. The parking lot is lit up with all kinds of beautiful lights. If I stare long enough I could forget where I am. 

If it wasn't dark you would see beautifully shaped trees and lawn ornaments. But the truth is... I'm still at a hospital. 

I am staring out the window thinking how much I'd love to be cuddled to jay after I rock my sweet girl to sleep. Well by rock I mean bounce,pat, and swing. All the while I catch a glimpse of my self in the window. I suddenly think... When did I get here? When did I become a mom to such an amazing little girl? When did I get lucky enough to marry Jay and be the mother to his child? 

Time, it's a strange thing. My mom use to tell me that it would go by in a flash. I guess I never really listened. I never believed her. But now... Looking at myself in the mirror.... It's flying by. Watching my daughter be two months shy of a year old is a sobering reality, seeing pictures of me and Jay on our wedding day... It amazes me. I guess the old saying is true... Time flies when your having fun.

It's strange though.. This new me. I'm responsible, a baby's cry can send me over the edge, I want things for the house not new shoes, my night out consist of eating at my in-laws. But deep down I'm still there. I still remember what it feels like to get all dressed up for a dinner with your guy. I still remember the feel of a spontaneous weekend trip. I still remember bond fires till 2 AM in the dead winter. 

Yes, I'm a mom and I love it! More than anything really. But this new me... She's pretty cool. She loves like she never thought she could. She worries about runny noses and fevers. She loves cooking supper for her man. She loves the way her little girl bats her eyes at her daddy. I like the new me! Sometimes I still take myself by surprise.