My disclaimer:
My fears in no way reflect any way Elizabeth is treated or spoken of. To say Elizabeth has an adoring fan club in our family and friends is an understatement. She is loved, adored, cuddled, spoiled, and worshipped. They are always supportive of her therapy and milestone accomplishments.
I am sure all Magical mommy's still have fears. Sometimes we fear what people think of our children's appearance. We may even fear what people think of their speech. Or we wonder if people think our child is weird for not walking/crawling or speaking yet.
My biggest fear is Elizabeth not meeting the families and friends expectations. I know that people mean it as a compliment when they say "It must be a mild case because I cannot tell." I feel that it indirectly sets these expectations for Elizabeth's development. Not that I do not set expectations but I fear they will be "let down" or "disappointed". I feel that it puts pressure on me to make sure she's able to meet those goals. I constantly , like any mom, struggle with comparing. I am currently resisting the urge to google what milestones are expected for a "corrected age" 8 1/2 month old DS baby. I am also reminded this "scale" cannot compensate for 5 months hospital stays and 5 surgeries preventing most movement/mobility. Part of me wonders if "normal moms" feel this way. And truth be told I'm sure we all do. We care and fiercely love our children! So in return we worry. As a "magical" mommy I have to learn that the only expectations that matter are mine and her fathers not her grandparents,aunts, cousins, etc.. Oh and her therapist opinions count! We can't forget them!
At the end of the day I am thankful for all the milestones Elizabeth meets. I am thankful for everyday and every moment I have with my girl. I know that the day my little girl sits up, walks, and speaks will outrank ANY normal mommy's day! Why you ask? Because I see my girls frustration when she's trying so hard to make that noise she looks like she'll explode. I see Elizabeth's determination and concentration when her hands rebel against her to grab what she wants. I see the scared look in her face when I loosen my grip because she can't completely sit up. Because I see her struggles turn into determination that's why! And I, well I couldn't be prouder to be her mommy in those moments. I would love to take credit but she gets that strength from her daddy!
She started out sitting regular and had Worked her way with one foot on the floor with one leg in the bumbo! And those sweet fat cheeks are concentration to get that buckle!
Sweet Smiles
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