"When" Worries

As a mom I often wonder will the worrying ever stop. Somedays it feels as if that's all I know to do. 

I'm finding that I worry in a different way. When I was young I worried about "what ifs" today I worry about the "whens". 

I worry about when Elizabeth will talk. I worry about when she'll  walk. One of the biggest "whens" is when will she eat by mouth. In those moments I am reminded by a verse I keep near to my heart:

Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.  Psalms 55:22

A friend of mine called today and after discussing the miracle of pregnancy and a healthy baby she made a profound comment:

"All we can so is pray to God the Father and trust in his love and will for us."

That's my Calla for you though. She always leaves me with profound statements to ponder! 

I do not know what it's like to have a healthy child. I do not know what it's like to take my child home three days after birth. I would have no idea what to do if you gave me a bottle and a baby and told me to make sure she drinks it all. I've always known down to the very ML/CC what my daughter was eating. I don't know how to mix formula per meal. I spend my week talking to NP's, nurses, doctors, nutritionist, and therapists. I spend thirty minutes of every morning mixing meds most pharmacist have no clue about.  

I can tell you what I do know! I know the joy  of seeing my child suck her thumb and the effort it took to get it in her tiny mouth. I know how proud you feel when your child is able to bring both her hands to "midline". I know the excitement of hearing your child laugh and realizing she's hit a milestone. I know the joy it brings a mom that ,after more therapy sessions I can count, be able to hold her own head up. I know how exciting it is when your child finally rolls over. I know strange words like midline, hard munchables, MIC Key, "the lightbulb", NPO, TPNS, PICC Line, CVL, Art line, echocardiogram, Ejection fraction, septic dyskinisis, etc..I know the joy of good test results after waiting hours for results.I know the importance of a baby reaching out to grab a cell phone out of mommy's hands. I could list you a thousand more things that I know. 

The most important thing I know is that God will take care of my burdens. God has blessed me with many things most moms will never experience. He has  taken care of so many of my "when worries" and I am confident he will continue.